People who live in their own little narcissistic universe, that's who. It must be hard work being the center of the universe. I'd hate that job...the enormous pressure of believing the world revolves around you. Geesh.

Marcella told me yesterday she thinks I should go back to school and get a degree. She says "I heard this quote that if you have a career, you never have to work a day in your life". LOL, isn't that cute?

I told her, I love my job now. I get to do things that actually make use of all the skills I've taught myself. Why would I walk away from that now??

Well, Christine makes a pretty good argument for walking away. I wonder some days how much more of her I can take. I thought it'd be easier a building away from her, but she works hard at being inescapable. It's exhausting.

My new boss told me a cool story today, and described himself as a dog whisperer. Turns out he's a people whisperer too, because he got ME to calm down when I went on a rant, and he didn't really do much. Just sat there exerting calm energy, and I went, you know what? Fuck it. And that was the end of the tantrum. :)

However, he plugged his ears and "la la la'd" when I explained to Brenda that I was pissy today because of CMS (the Current mode of PMS, you see). TMI, apparently. :)

I can't wait to get out on my horse tomorrow, and then maybe hit the beach. I need the complete destressment of these things.

That our society has an entire subset of humans, who amuse themselves by creating viruses and malware to damage other peoples' computers, just absolutely flabbergasts me. I mean, what possible kick would you get from committing an action that earns you nothing? You don't even see the people you hurt directly, so you don't even get to laugh at them. So what's the point???

I'm on Marcella's laptop, because both of my computers got infected the same night earlier this week with nasty trojans and malware that caused major damage to the Windows registry. I could have fixed it, but it turned out the Windows disk I have for the laptop is not actually the one which came with the laptop, so now I have two Windows on there, and one's broken beyond repair. The other one is a blank slate that can't even connect the computer to the wireless network and access the internet. I need drivers, which I can only get...on the internet. Ironic no?

Now, the desktop is pretty well slagged too, and Windows wouldn't even reinstall/repair. So I have to reformat, but it just told me I couldn't because something's wrong with the partition. Interesting, because that's a brand new hard drive, not even six months old.

Stupid fucking hackers.

I'm not going to explain the movie. I don't wish to vomit again. I don't want to image it again. You have to look it up yourself. A full trailer is available on IMDB. Much to their shame.

Suffice it to say, the premise is bizarre, the concept horrendous, and the presentation...well, it makes the Saw series suddenly seem tame by comparison. Hostel? Positively Disney-fied.

After seeing this abomination, I have to ask...what has gone wrong in Hollyweird that some writers/directors feel compelled to that violently push the envelope, to destroy the barrier between horror films and flat out grotesqueries. There is almost no such thing as a good "scary movie" any more. They're all about terrorizing the audience into drooling catatonia, about seeing which writer can come up with an idea so hideous that moviegoers are handed buckets on their way into the cinema. Gone are the days of Psycho, Friday the 13th, Halloween, the good old fashioned thrillers...unless you count the endless tide of remakes and re-imaginings. And some of those, like The Hills Have Eyes...are shoving pretty hard at that same envelope as the Saw franchise, and now Human Centipede.

I miss screaming at a good scary movie. I feel like I haven't seen one since The Grudge. Which was pretty good by my standards. Although the original Japanese version was better.

I LOVE Japanese horror films. Ju-On, the original Grudge, The Wishing Stairs, Phone, every movie every profiled on Sundance Channel's Asian Extreme...the Japanese (and some Chinese and Korean) horror movie directors understand that sometimes, all a fan of the genre wants is a good creepy scare and to be a little afraid of the dark and the whispers in it for one night. Not a stomach ache and traumatic nightmares for days.

I got to ride him today for the first time in three months, after the leg injury, illness, and a lack of saddle. A loaner saddled was procured for me yesterday, so 8 am, I was at the barn. I exercised him first, to wear off any excess energy. Got him saddled up after a half hour struggle with the saddle (put the girth on upside down) and the bridle (adjusted for his big head, and then gotten TOO big), and a quick ride around the arena with Kyle to make sure he was good and calm for me. After much ado, I finally got in the saddle.

Ranger immediately walked off with me. So, we went in the bullpen to practice. Then we went around the track with Barbara. Things went south from there. For the record, Ranger does NOT care for a Kemberwick bit. Not in the slightest. Instead of making him more responsive to me, it made him spin backwards in circles. Yeah, that's fun. That's what I wanted to do. The first trip around the track took forever and had me nearly in hysterics. He pulled a lot. I pulled a lot. I have no idea who won. So Barbara put a halter and lead rope on him, and ponied him with her Annie. We made a successful circuit around the track that way, and then I was done. The rule at TLC is to end on a good note.

Clean up commenced. Ranger is 16 plus hands of solidly muscular thoroughbred. So there's a lot of him to clean up. And he screams, a lot. Keep that in mind when I get to his nickname.

Walking Ranger is another trial. He doesn't like to walk nicely and quietly alongside me. He wants to cut in front of me, cuddle me, crowd me, kill me, I don't know, but I spend the whole time shoving him off me. It's exhausting. I put him away, gave him his supplements, and as I'm slouching back towards the barn, Kyle says to me, "Ranger, is like have a pet dinosaur". And I just started laughing, and said, oh man, he's my...

Ranger-saurus Rex. :) He even has the SCREAM. LOL!!!

Part of the beauty of this, is that the new boss, Mike, wanted me. He ASKED for me. I wasn't thrust upon him, I wasn't dumped there for lack of anything better to do with me. (We have one of those at Century, poor woman). He asked Mitch for me, and after a long and protracted battle, of which I was mostly unaware, he was granted me. This in part came about due to falling down the stairs. I guess making Customer Service live without me for two weeks seemed an opportune time to proceed with the master plan.

There were protests. Christine didn't want to let me go. And she didn't want to relinquish control of in home service, my especial demesne. That didn't work for me. The whole point was to escape her. That didn't work for Mike either. He didn't want Christine mucking about in his master plan. (Which, the Master Plan, is brilliant in its entirety). Mitch was on Christine's side. Ross, the ops manager, was on Mike's.

I'm now in "Production Control - Repair Department". I control ALL repairs and returns in and out of Century. And I'll be allowed and even encouraged to engage in my second favorite activity, document design and publication.

As a part of the master plan, I was given an "expeditor" for Repairs, a girl named Alba who's smart, quick and assertive. She gets things DONE and is computer savvy. So she and I have revamped how repairs are handled. We're almost hi-tech now!

But here is where the title of the entry comes in. One of the girls I work with, who's of Mexican heritage, and daughter of typical Mexican Catholics...is an atheist. She said she grew up religious, but spent her teen years as an atheist. She says now, she's "unsure" and has been trying to go to church...but she's just not feeling it. I told her, you can't force it. If it's not right for you, it's not right, and you have to follow your heart.

It's pretty cool to no longer be the sole atheist at Century Blinds. Although, I am the only open one. But I can live with that. :)

So if you're an atheist, you're in with an elite crowd.
Celebrity Atheist List

Now, I don't want to kill myself over this movie...but I did feel disoriented and vaguely depressed afterward. This bears repeating...I was most unhappy my ground didn't light up when I walk...

Except that two days later, there was only one small bruise on my leg, which was incongruous in relation to the amount of pain and swelling I was experiencing. So off to the clinic I went.The doctor agreed with me that the lack of bruising was odd. He diagnosed an infection, but said it could also have caused a blood clot. WONDERFUL.

6 hours later...

I've been x-rayed, ultra-sounded, had two shots, and been poked, prodded, and given a drug test. (Which I passed) I then got a fix-it ticket on the way back to Century. My leg was hurting, my emotions were raw, and I asked if I could go home. The big boss said yes, just clear up your emails etc and check in with Christine. Anyone want to guess what my boss said? Oh, let me just tell you...s...he said "Are you sure you don't want to just stay? I'll find you something to put your leg up on?".

Oh, your concern is SO touching, ever so touching.

I hate my job. Anyone want to hire me?

"truth be told...when I was the most down this week...you DID make me smile and feel better...Your awsome :)".

That, just made my whole week seem less pointless.

That, and my two best friends, Trisha and Lissa, coaching me through non stop. I'd have driven into traffic by yesterday were it not for these two. :)